December 30, 2015

WHAT I LEARNED IN 2015






UNDERSTANDING REJECTION
I’ve learned how amazing rejection is last year. I once heard this quote: “rejection is Gods protection” and it’s completely true. Not that you are necessarily being protected from danger, instead, the rejection is simply redirecting you to where you need to be. Whether it’s personal, career or romantic if you understand there is a bigger picture in life, you’ll understand that sometimes disappointment is simply inconvenient at the time, but needed in order to navigate you to a more suitable place for you. The rejection is happening because it’s simply not the road/path you need to go down.  2015 was the year where this understanding truly sunk in, I didn’t take offense to rejection {although it can be emotionally taxing at times} and guess what? I started feeling sorry for those who rejected me. It’s truly the story of my life, and my track record has been as such:  I’ve noticed that as time passed both parties gain clarity about the rejection. I understand that’s not where I needed to be and the rejection “giver” realizes how much of an opportunity they have missed out on. 


YOUR VIBE ATTRACTS YOUR TRIBE
This is something I learned while reading Kelly Cutrone’s book "If You Have To Cry Go Outside" a few years back. I realized that instead of trying to be where you WANT to be or where feels comfortable you should focus on attracting like-minded elements. Like minded communities, activities, people, career opportunities etc. The world is full of MANY different types of people + opportunities. There is a place for EVERYONE, you simply have to decide if you actually want to do the work to re adjust what you are used to and what feels comfortable. Shedding weight isn’t just difficult when trying to loose a few lbs, but it can also be difficult when trying to shed the weight of what we have become accustomed to. Just like working out, you have to decide you want to make the change and start on that journey bit by bit day by day. Become the change you want to see in the world. 


BEING THE AUTHENTIC YOU
Who the HELL are you and are you being true to yourself? In order to attract your tribe you have to know who you are. You have to know what you are about, what you stand for, your intentions, your spirit, essence, and your character. Knowing all of this helps you stand in a beautiful pool of self conviction. Conviction  + understanding not only who you are but also where you belong will help you become aware of what TRIBE you belong to. Take home decorating for instance. You won’t know what type of furniture to buy for your home if you don’t know who you are and you personal style. So many people "adjust to what makes other feel comfortable, they adjust who they are to fit in. It’s amazing how many people live in this space and it’s truly scary as these are the same members of society who vote for laws, raise children, run major companies amongst other things. They are not aware of who they are so how can they teach/raise their children how to do so? Don't be that person. Know who you are, it’ll direct you to where you belong.



HELPING OTHERS
I’m always trying to help other people. Constantly!!! I go over and beyond for my friends, clients, family members and even strangers and in 2015 I realized two amazing things about this selfless practice of mine.

1. So many people can’t conceive how much you are trying to actually help them, so they don’t really believe you when you are exhibiting the help. In other words they are not used to genuine selfless help, so they are unable to receive the help. This results in them not being able to accept your help at all.

 2.  The other dynamic is no matter how much you want to help others some genuinely don’t want the help. I learned that some people don’t actually need help/info/ideas/motivation. Some people actually don’t want to do better, they don’t want to do more than they have to do and they are very comfortable where they are. They may complain about their reality/situation but it doesn't mean they are ready or willing to implement methods needed to change their reality. 


I’ve learned this is ok. We all have great potential which can be maximized but the key which unlocks that is a combination of desire + will to use the key. I’ve learned to give advice to those who seek it and want to actually implement the advice given. Thats about 5%-10% of the population. The other 90%-95% I simply listen to their dilemmas/problems + allow them to vent. 



KNOWING YOUR LAYERS + FACETS
Knowing who you are is the foundation, which navigates you to where you need to be. Truly understanding who you are means knowing your strengths, weaknesses, what drives + motivates you, your passions, fears, what bothers you + what brings you joy. 2015 really helped me understand what a strong and highly valuable currency it is to know and understand YOU. I realized many people don’t actually know who they are. They adjust who they are and how people see them based on their surroundings + expectations from their peers or their over social environment. This is where many people fail themselves. Better understanding myself as a woman, friend, artist, biz owner, performer, partner, daughter + sister I am often better able to analyze my actions. I’m able to better understand how others see me while knowing + understanding that how they see me is more of a reflection of THEM than ME. I am able to know my TRUTH + theirs. I’ve been called, spoiled, princess, diva, opinionated, assertive, bossy, demanding, free spirit, hippie, hipster, artsy just to name a few. Guess what? I AM all of those things and it doesn’t bother me at all that some would use those adjectives to describe me. I understand some of those characteristics and attributes may bother others or turn them of but that is not MY problem. In fact just as they’re people who don’t like those attributes of my personality they’re so many who light up + are severely attracted to those aspects of who I am. It's a great way for me to find my tribe. Instead of trying to fit into a box, be yourself until you naturally find yourself to a fitting circle {aka "tribe"} 
Why stuff yourself in a box, when you can fit into your circle. 


I’ve learned so much throughout 2015. It has truly been a year of much change, enlightenment, growth + self-awareness. I figured I would diary this information and through it into the atmosphere for whoever may be in need of such insight and information.

Cheers to an awesome 2016!